All Aboard the F--king Drama Train!

Porn star James Deen got more than he bargained for when he signed up to shoot with Farrah Abraham, he says in the October issue of Playboy.

Deen, 27, actually turned down the offer to film with the Teen Mom alum initially, but later agreed to do it as long as it didn’t turn into a media circus.

So much for that. He tells Playboy:

“I got a call, and they asked if I wanted to do a celebrity sex tape with Farrah. They said, ‘We’ll set it up so it looks like you guys are dating, TMZ will find out and it’ll be all over the TV.'”

“I said, ‘No, I don’t want to do that. Hire somebody else.’ But they promised the media wouldn’t be involved. I made sure they knew I was going to tell the truth if anybody asked me.”

Which, of course, is precisely what happened.

“So we shoot the movie, and as we’re leaving her hotel room, some paparazzo takes our picture. The next day I get a call from TMZ asking if I was dating Farrah Abraham.”

As promised, the porn star continued, “I said no. ‘Well, what were you doing at that hotel?’ ‘Shooting a porno.’ And that’s when the f–king drama train hit.”

Hard.

The “drama train,” as Deen calls it, involved Farrah Abraham publicly slamming her partner in the flick for talking about what she said was a “personal sex tape.”

She claimed the video was for her own use, though it didn’t stop her from selling it to porn company Vivid Entertainment for an amount in the “high six figures.”

Deen also had a second ride on the drama train this year as Lindsay Lohan‘s co-star in The Canyons, but the drama was mostly from the media he says.

“During the Lindsay drama, I got a firsthand lesson in how tabloids spin a story. They got shots of us coming out of a bar together, holding hands and getting into her car.”

“TMZ was like, ‘What’s going on? Are they an item?’ We were playing a couple in a movie! We were hanging out before the movie and getting to know each other.”

“When we left the bar together, she was drunk, so I drove her home because I was sober and she has a bad history with that. End of story.”

If he could do any A-lister out there, who’d it be?

Halle Berry or Charlize Theron. With a catch.

“They’re undeniably gorgeous,” James Deen explained. “But I don’t know them. For all I know, they’re complete bitches. Personality goes a long way.”

One other stipulation? No clowns. “I won’t have sex with anyone dressed like a clown,” he said. “They are creepy. I’ve done it only once, and it was terrifying.”

Sorry, Northampton Clown.

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEoaalpKmsvLCwxqiqrKGgY7CwuY5rZ2prX2WGcLbAppysZZSasq95zqdkn5mip66pecCbqZqgkaJ6sbvRp2SapJxirqO7wKubZqyYmnqnecqipaBllKeurq2Mralo